Understood

I've had an illness
That might come back
But it isn't here now and I am.

My X-illness and I were quite a pair;
Very intense relationship,
Violent in fact.
I could have died.

For I don't know how long
I really did not know
What was going on.
It just seemed normal to me.
When I found out,
In the moment when I understood,
I thought I would die.

Instead I live with a restraining order.
I mean, I eat and sleep with a restraining order.
Always on the look out
For a sign, a creeping up;
And off we'll go again
My Illness and I.

-Julia Livingston